These are the words of my friend (M), a Palestinian-Israeli citizen who has lived in Israel her whole life. These are the same words I’ve been unable to get out of my head ever since I interviewed her about her experiences as a Palestinian-Israeli citizen. She is one of many Palestinians and Arabs that, in 2023, made up just over 20% of Israel’s population.[1] She is also one of many citizens caught in a complex identity battle between her Israeli Civic identity, and her Palestinian National identity.
Since 2022, I’ve been involved in research and writing for non-profit organisations, many of which are dedicated to generating social development projects for Palestinian and Arab-Israeli citizens. It was that experience that led me to write this article. I couldn’t help but wonder, especially as the assault on Gaza continues to unfold, what it’s like to be a person who feels connected to both their Palestinian and Israeli identity.
This article isn’t an opinion piece, but rather a record of my conversation with M, whose name I’ve kept anonymous both for her own privacy and safety. It does not attempt to reflect the thoughts and experiences of all Palestinian-Israeli citizens, nor will I attempt to tell their story for them. Rather, this short article is a collection of my friend’s thoughts, which both deserve and need to be heard. “We’re trying to figure out what’s waiting for us” is the phrase that resonated with me most after my conversation with M. It encapsulates her real fear that her community will increasingly become the targets of violence and aggression, both by the state and by fellow citizens. But I will not speak for M’s experience; Instead, I will let her words paint a picture of what it feels like to be a person of both Palestinian and Israeli identity at this moment in time.
What is day to day life like for you?
“We part of the Palestinian people, always trying to reconcile parts of our ‘civic’ and ‘national’ identity”.
The first thing M spoke to me about was how she conceives of her identity which, in simplified terms, is both Palestinian and Israeli. The problem is:
“One requires you to forfeit the other.”
Belonging to the state of Israel, she feels, requires one to give up what makes them a Palestinian. Most importantly, it requires a forfeiting of national pride. To M, this is the crux of what causes a lot of issues within popular society; the fact that people do not know who they are.
If/how did things change after October 7th?
“It was hard for me to hear what happened”
The initial reaction of the Palestinian-Israeli community, she told me, was one of shock and confusion. The complexity of emotions felt in relation to the events of October 7th were apparent in her words; she faces the same internal conflict felt by many within the community. At the centre of this conflict lies a feeling that the purity of the Palestinian resistance cause was betrayed on October 7th, and a feeling that: “Even internally, we can never be okay with it”.
Turning then to the feelings developing amongst the Palestinian-Israeli community as the war progressed, M made clear a sentiment that sits within the title of this article. An initial shock at the actions of Hamas on October 7th soon bled into a concern over the impact this would have on their own community. For many, they fear Israel will soon turn on them.
From what I was told when I did this interview, it seems that these fears have already begun to materialise into a concrete reality. While the discrimination against Israel’s Palestinian community is by no means a new song, the stakes seem to have increased for those speaking out in support of Gazans. In particular, M highlighted the mounting attacks and arrests faced by Palestinian journalists; an escalation of a problem that was already faced within Palestinian society.[2]
“There is not one journalistic ethic law that hasn’t been broken”.
In terms of access to media, are there restrictions on the types of news and information you’re able to consume?
One of the many things I wanted to find out in this interview was the sort of media, information, and narratives that are readily accessible within Israeli borders. While there is not necessarily media ‘censorship’ occurring, M told me that the consumption of media from “terrorist organisations”: the category into which Hezbollah (a politically influential party based in Lebanon), and Hamas fall. This media consumption isn’t just dangerous to those who share it on social platforms, as many in the UK may do:
“Even watching it, you can get arrested. Anyone speaking out against the war is being targeted”.
Critical media consumption, it seems, is low. Even though news platforms such as Al Jazeera (a Qatari multi-media news platform with a focus on current events in the Middle East) aren’t completely restricted from view, they actively need to be searched for.
The fact is, says M, that “[Most people] don’t see what we see in the media”. Why does this matter? It matters because of the alarming speech arising from government circles within Israel. It matters because calls for the destruction of Gaza and its population are amongst the political sentiments that are being widely circulated within (as well as very explicitly outside of) Israel’s borders. However, those that do see the truth of what is unfolding in Gaza “usually change their tune”.
Ministers and members of the Knesset (the parliament of Israel) are not shy about their programme and intent in the occupation of Gaza. M pointed out just some of the statements that were publicly made by ministers on national media platforms. On 10th January at 10.15am, the day before South Africa’s case against Israel at the International Court of Justice, Knesset Member Nissim Vaturi advocated on social media that Israel should “burn Gaza”.[3]
Alongside the ministers openly and shamelessly calling for Gaza’s destruction, however, are those that speak out against it. Israel’s parliamentary body, the Knesset, is made up of both Israeli and Arab representatives; the latter of these groups face an increasing repression of their expressive freedom. As highlighted by a 2019 Amnesty report, Palestinians and Arabs working within the Knesset have long faced discrimination and suppression of their expressive freedoms.[4] M talked to me about this, telling me how Palestinian members of the Knesset who have openly criticised, or even raised awareness of, the Gazan genocide have had their voices repressed. It didn’t take me long to find examples of this through a quick search. Ofer Cassif, a politician who publicly supported South Africa’s accusation of genocide against Israel, has faced calls from over 80 members of the Knesset to be suspended. Beyond this, he has been accused of “supporting an armed struggle against Israel”.[5]
Concluding messages – what does it feel like to live through this?
“It’s such a shitty reality… You’re trying to adjust to yourself to an already sick and broken society”.
I sit writing this from my laptop, in London, trying to understand someone else’s experiences through a screen. To M, alongside other Palestinians inside and out of Israel, this is a reality they can’t ignore – “It’s everything in our lives”. It’s also a reality that is underscored by an uncertain fear of what will happen next, and a reality that leaves people wondering
“…what’s waiting for us”.
[1] Council on Foreign Relations, “What to Know About the Arab Citizens of Israel”. Accessible at: https://www.cfr.org/backgrounder/what-know-about-arab-citizens-israel
[2] In 2023 alone, the journalist death count in the war was higher than any other conflict in over 30 years. The vast majority of these journalists were Palestinians:
https://www.theguardian.com/media/2023/dec/08/journalists-killed-imprisoned-2023-ifj
[3] See https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2024/1/11/a-quick-guide-to-south-africas-icj-case-against-israel for a brief overview of South Africa’s Genocide case against Israel.
Information on Vaturi’s comments, as well as others made by MPs in the Likud party, can be found here: https://www.middleeasteye.net/news/israel-mp-no-innocents-gaza-should-burn-now.
[4] Amnesty International, Elected but Restricted: Shrinking Space for Palestinian Parliamentarians in Israel’s Knesset (2019). Accessible at: https://www.amnesty.org.uk/files/2019-09/Elected%20but%20Restricted.pdf?Xki3SR4Lp9jn5H3Tp4DO6TIXch6tH2SG=
[5] “Meet the Knesset member threatened with expulsion for supporting genocide case against Israel”, on The Irish Times website. Accessible at: https://www.irishtimes.com/world/middle-east/2024/01/12/meet-the-knesset-member-threatened-with-expulsion-for-supporting-genocide-case-against-israel/
The Amnesty 
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